I changed the layout.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
On Respect, The Devil Winds, and Ron Jeremy
Here are some updates!
1) It is Santa Ana Winds season, and it is brutal. It's 100 degrees all the time. I don't know if it's the pollution or what, but the sun here is either a blinding white or a blinding orange. It's always blinding! It think the extreme heats adds to my perception, but my sunglasses broke and this hasn't been a fun week and a half. The winds should stop soon, and it should be back down into the seventies. They are also called the "Devil Winds."
2) I saw Ron Jeremy on my way to the grocery store. I have to walk by the Chinese theater to get to the Fresh and Easy (which is where I like to shop when I don't want to drive to Trader Joe's; we'll be getting a TJ's a block away soon, though!). I think the fact that I have to walk by this world famous landmark to get milk is pretty bizarre by itself. Hollywood never seems real. The premiere of "Zombieland" was happening, so there were a lot of people around. Lots of Asian tourists, lots of people dressed up as zombies, etc. The people who wear dumb one-piece costumes and beg everyone to take their pictures with them so they can then ask for a dollar were out in full force. There are usually a lot, but there were like seven Jack Sparrows and four Spidermen on Wednesday. Plus all the other characters like Cinderella, Shrek and this guy who just dresses up like a general "pimp." I call him "Cool Daddy" because I imagine that's what the tag on the costume read when he bought it at Wal*Mart four days after Halloween. There was this little man dressed up like Chuckie and he stabbed me with his stupid plastic knife. I was just trying to get to the Fresh and Easy!
Anyway, I was standing near the crosswalk leaning against the light post trying to call T-Bone when I saw someone in the crosswalk coming toward me. He looked kind of familiar, and homeless. Naturally, I assumed he was a client so I panicked a little bit because I've yet to meet one outside of skid row. As I was wondering what to say, I realized it wasn't a homeless man I knew from work, but it was Ron Jeremy. He was with someone who also looked vaguely familiar. I think his friend was either a wrestler or a Corey Haim style celebrity. Anyway, right after I realized who he was he passed me by putting his hand on my hip and saying "'scuse me, baby." Tim didn't answer. He could have been on the phone with me for it, but he didn't answer.
3) The lady with the father who is a veteran of various future wars came in again. I caught her earlier in the week trying to put my co-worker down as her employer on some kind of check cashing website. I am 100% sure it was a fraud and had her identity not presented far more problems than lucrative possibilities to potential thieves, it would have been stolen real quick. Also, she was trying to write herself a check for $816,000. She came in to ask for tokens to go to another "telemarketing recruitment center." She had a flyer. I have no idea what a "telemarketing recruitment center" looks like, but I imagine it is lit with dirty yellow bulbs and inexplicably filled with a constant low hum and/or monotone beep. You can make $8,000 dollars a week! No Experence necesary! Will We'll Train You! So she came in to get her tokens, and she just went off. At first, she wanted to let me know that the reason she doesn't have a job is because she knows how to keep her hands to herself, and it's all about respect. Then, it was on to classical ballet. After that she let me know that no, she would not be a modeling instructor nor an assistant modeling instructor. Then it was time to stand up, and address the wall like it were a small boy. "You" she told the wall, "You are a boy. A child. You cannot have other boys as boyfriends. You can't like other boys. It will ruin your energies! You have energies! One day, we want to call you REVOLUTION!" She was pointing and yelling now. "One day, we want to call you REVEREND LEWIS." Then she looks at me, and waits for me to speak. I had to think of something benign again, something that would not cause her to lose it and lunge for the letter-opener that I have now hidden in my locking drawer. Something that she could relate to. I said what came first; "Yeah, well, it's all about respect."
GOLD.
"Thank you very much Miss Addison. Have a nice day." And out she goes, her immaculate-except-for-the-tin-can-glued-on-top rolling suitcase in tow.
1) It is Santa Ana Winds season, and it is brutal. It's 100 degrees all the time. I don't know if it's the pollution or what, but the sun here is either a blinding white or a blinding orange. It's always blinding! It think the extreme heats adds to my perception, but my sunglasses broke and this hasn't been a fun week and a half. The winds should stop soon, and it should be back down into the seventies. They are also called the "Devil Winds."
2) I saw Ron Jeremy on my way to the grocery store. I have to walk by the Chinese theater to get to the Fresh and Easy (which is where I like to shop when I don't want to drive to Trader Joe's; we'll be getting a TJ's a block away soon, though!). I think the fact that I have to walk by this world famous landmark to get milk is pretty bizarre by itself. Hollywood never seems real. The premiere of "Zombieland" was happening, so there were a lot of people around. Lots of Asian tourists, lots of people dressed up as zombies, etc. The people who wear dumb one-piece costumes and beg everyone to take their pictures with them so they can then ask for a dollar were out in full force. There are usually a lot, but there were like seven Jack Sparrows and four Spidermen on Wednesday. Plus all the other characters like Cinderella, Shrek and this guy who just dresses up like a general "pimp." I call him "Cool Daddy" because I imagine that's what the tag on the costume read when he bought it at Wal*Mart four days after Halloween. There was this little man dressed up like Chuckie and he stabbed me with his stupid plastic knife. I was just trying to get to the Fresh and Easy!
Anyway, I was standing near the crosswalk leaning against the light post trying to call T-Bone when I saw someone in the crosswalk coming toward me. He looked kind of familiar, and homeless. Naturally, I assumed he was a client so I panicked a little bit because I've yet to meet one outside of skid row. As I was wondering what to say, I realized it wasn't a homeless man I knew from work, but it was Ron Jeremy. He was with someone who also looked vaguely familiar. I think his friend was either a wrestler or a Corey Haim style celebrity. Anyway, right after I realized who he was he passed me by putting his hand on my hip and saying "'scuse me, baby." Tim didn't answer. He could have been on the phone with me for it, but he didn't answer.
3) The lady with the father who is a veteran of various future wars came in again. I caught her earlier in the week trying to put my co-worker down as her employer on some kind of check cashing website. I am 100% sure it was a fraud and had her identity not presented far more problems than lucrative possibilities to potential thieves, it would have been stolen real quick. Also, she was trying to write herself a check for $816,000. She came in to ask for tokens to go to another "telemarketing recruitment center." She had a flyer. I have no idea what a "telemarketing recruitment center" looks like, but I imagine it is lit with dirty yellow bulbs and inexplicably filled with a constant low hum and/or monotone beep. You can make $8,000 dollars a week! No Experence necesary! Will We'll Train You! So she came in to get her tokens, and she just went off. At first, she wanted to let me know that the reason she doesn't have a job is because she knows how to keep her hands to herself, and it's all about respect. Then, it was on to classical ballet. After that she let me know that no, she would not be a modeling instructor nor an assistant modeling instructor. Then it was time to stand up, and address the wall like it were a small boy. "You" she told the wall, "You are a boy. A child. You cannot have other boys as boyfriends. You can't like other boys. It will ruin your energies! You have energies! One day, we want to call you REVOLUTION!" She was pointing and yelling now. "One day, we want to call you REVEREND LEWIS." Then she looks at me, and waits for me to speak. I had to think of something benign again, something that would not cause her to lose it and lunge for the letter-opener that I have now hidden in my locking drawer. Something that she could relate to. I said what came first; "Yeah, well, it's all about respect."
GOLD.
"Thank you very much Miss Addison. Have a nice day." And out she goes, her immaculate-except-for-the-tin-can-glued-on-top rolling suitcase in tow.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Museum of Jurassic Technology
http://www.mjt.org/
I don't know why I am even bothering trying to write a post about this place. There are no words!
I don't know why I am even bothering trying to write a post about this place. There are no words!
Still Alive
Yesterday I had to do a mock interview with one of the crazies! This guy repeatedly goes to the IRS to get reports on every job he's ever had. He also likes to let us know which consulates are hiring, but then insult said consulate. Like "The Mexican consulate is hiring, but I don't want to work for those beaners." I also don't understand what he means when he says consulates "are hiring" because I'm pretty sure they don't run them like IHOPs or In-N-Out Burgers.
ANYWAY this guy is like 6'5" and he has crazy eyes. You never really know if he's looking at you, but you can be pretty sure he is because he is sitting with you in your cubicle and there's no one else to look at. The few times I've spoken to him in the computer lab I've been confused, because he could be talking to anyone. He wears Tevas and short pants and carries a backpack full of... stuff. More reports, probably.
In the mock interview he got really into politics. I said "what did you like the least about your last job" and he said "I hated that they made me register my firearm. I mean, all my weapons are legally obtained, but I'm a libertarian and it really made me angry. That stuff should be private." I should note that he is pretty much always yelling.
I asked him "the felonies question." We have a lot of people who have felonies and they need to learn how to answer a question about that, should it arise, so I just ask everyone. So I asked him if he had any felonies or misdemeanors and he leaned in really close to me, with his crazy eyes, and said in voice, a little quieter than his regular yell so I guess it was supposed to be a whisper, "well, you're still alive, aren't you?"
ANYWAY this guy is like 6'5" and he has crazy eyes. You never really know if he's looking at you, but you can be pretty sure he is because he is sitting with you in your cubicle and there's no one else to look at. The few times I've spoken to him in the computer lab I've been confused, because he could be talking to anyone. He wears Tevas and short pants and carries a backpack full of... stuff. More reports, probably.
In the mock interview he got really into politics. I said "what did you like the least about your last job" and he said "I hated that they made me register my firearm. I mean, all my weapons are legally obtained, but I'm a libertarian and it really made me angry. That stuff should be private." I should note that he is pretty much always yelling.
I asked him "the felonies question." We have a lot of people who have felonies and they need to learn how to answer a question about that, should it arise, so I just ask everyone. So I asked him if he had any felonies or misdemeanors and he leaned in really close to me, with his crazy eyes, and said in voice, a little quieter than his regular yell so I guess it was supposed to be a whisper, "well, you're still alive, aren't you?"
Friday, September 18, 2009
Hustlin'
I'd say a good 40% of my job is spotting hustlers and letting them know that their game isn't working. It's hard, because lots of homeless people are straight up manipulators (because they have to be). I am getting better at all this, as evidenced by the easy, natural way I use the words "hustlers," "game" and "straight up." We have services they want, there are certain rules to obtaining said services and they will do everything in their power to get around those rules and get what they want and keep living the way they're living.
I feel like a maniupulator a lot, too. We have to use "motivational interviewing" when talking to people, which is a fancy/stupid psychological term for "mind games." Basically you think of a result/resolution you want to come to by the end of the meeting. Then you ask vague/open-ended questions to try to get people to say something you want them to say (like that their drinking is hurting their chances of finding a job) then you repeat things back to them and try to inch them a little closer to the resolution you had in mind. It'll probably be a good skill to develop, but it really makes me feel like I'm just manipulating people, which feels bad even though it's for the best.
I feel like a maniupulator a lot, too. We have to use "motivational interviewing" when talking to people, which is a fancy/stupid psychological term for "mind games." Basically you think of a result/resolution you want to come to by the end of the meeting. Then you ask vague/open-ended questions to try to get people to say something you want them to say (like that their drinking is hurting their chances of finding a job) then you repeat things back to them and try to inch them a little closer to the resolution you had in mind. It'll probably be a good skill to develop, but it really makes me feel like I'm just manipulating people, which feels bad even though it's for the best.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Two Times!
Today TWO PEOPLE told me I was "good with people." One of them said "I like the way you deal with people, you know, your dealings and manners are good" and the other said I'd "make a good teacher because [I'm] good with all sorts of different folks." Honestly, these are some of the best compliments I've ever received. It kind of made my day!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Chinese Nuclear Atomic
Another day, another crazy.
Today a woman came in dressed in about 7 layers. She had a radio embedded on her person somewhere, and she was constantly emanating angry talk radio. I couldn't quite hear what the radio host and guests were saying because of all the sweatshirts, vests and jackets she was wearing so she was just surrounded by a fuzzy aura of hate. She came in because she had found an ad for telemarketers that said you could make $6,500 a month, and that's what she wanted to do. Then she started going on about how she had come here today because her father had given her permission "to work, as a woman, in a man's world." She was 48. Then she went on about being a woman in a man's world for a while and eventually the "conversation" (I was just nodding; there was no opportunity to do otherwise) got back to her father. She told me he was a veteran of the War of 1812, The Civil War, The Korean Conflict, World Wars I & II, "The Chinese Nuclear Atomic" and World War III. She was serious. Then she looked at me and paused, expecting me to say something for the first since she'd sat down 10 minutes earlier, and all I could think of was; "So, you come from a military family?"
Clearly being a veteran of future wars isn't out of the question, which makes this whole "Chinese Nuclear Atomic" thing pretty terrifying.
I gave her a resume prep sheet to fill out. In the skills section she wrote "the BIBLE is the REASON" a lot and repeated the statement "on paper, I'm an educated A.A. Spanish in the universe" a few times in the "work history" section.
Today a woman came in dressed in about 7 layers. She had a radio embedded on her person somewhere, and she was constantly emanating angry talk radio. I couldn't quite hear what the radio host and guests were saying because of all the sweatshirts, vests and jackets she was wearing so she was just surrounded by a fuzzy aura of hate. She came in because she had found an ad for telemarketers that said you could make $6,500 a month, and that's what she wanted to do. Then she started going on about how she had come here today because her father had given her permission "to work, as a woman, in a man's world." She was 48. Then she went on about being a woman in a man's world for a while and eventually the "conversation" (I was just nodding; there was no opportunity to do otherwise) got back to her father. She told me he was a veteran of the War of 1812, The Civil War, The Korean Conflict, World Wars I & II, "The Chinese Nuclear Atomic" and World War III. She was serious. Then she looked at me and paused, expecting me to say something for the first since she'd sat down 10 minutes earlier, and all I could think of was; "So, you come from a military family?"
Clearly being a veteran of future wars isn't out of the question, which makes this whole "Chinese Nuclear Atomic" thing pretty terrifying.
I gave her a resume prep sheet to fill out. In the skills section she wrote "the BIBLE is the REASON" a lot and repeated the statement "on paper, I'm an educated A.A. Spanish in the universe" a few times in the "work history" section.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
East LA
I went to a party at my friend's house in East LA last night. It was fun. East LA is like a different city entirely. It's very residential, and there are tons of dogs everywhere. Also, on the short walk from where I parked to my friends house, there were a few mariachi bands playing in people's backyards. I liked it.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
7:19 Conductor
The metro conductor on the 7:19 train to Union Station from Hollywood and Vine makes my morning, every morning. His accent is like... film noir with a dash of Latin flair. Next time I speak to you, ask me to do an impression. His station announcements are the reason I am never late, because I took the 7:29 train once, and that lady sucked!
Electricity
I had a client at intake today (this is right after they go to orientation, so they are brand new) who asked whether or not he could run his business from our office. We get this question a lot. I told him that he couldn't but, after he finished his classes, he could use the phones and internet to make contacts or look for other work. He was disappointed. He was also not wearing shoes, and his shirt was completely unbuttoned. He said he was hoping to find someone to finance his business. I told him again that he was welcome to use the resources, but that we wouldn't hook him up directly with a financier. Then he said "Well, I have an idea, and I need funding. Well, what I need really is a facility to house my equipment. I have an idea about how to make electricity using rats."
...
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Blade Runner
The valley at night from Runyon Canon, plus BLADE RUNNER!
I just finished watching Blade Runner for the first time in HOLLYWOOD. My apartment is a really good place to watch this movie for a few reasons. I'll list them.
1) Blade Runner takes place in LA so... duh.
2) My apartment is near some animated neon signs. One of them is a bottle of vodka pouring into a glass, or something like that. We are in in a pretty touristy part of town, so there is no shortage of "old-fashioned" neon signs. The lights from some of them come in through the windows of the living room.
3) Also, about lighting, they are building a super plush luxury hotel down the block and apparently it warrants nightly searchlights.
4) Many police sirens.
5) With all the fires, the helicopters have been almost non-stop.
6) I've never seen a place with so much advertising.
!LA! Plus we are set back from the road a bit, and have a yard! But that's not like Blade Runner, so forget I said it.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Some Clients
1) Schizophrenic lady: She stares at me and smiles manically when I am talking. Sometimes. Other times she looks really down in the dumps. She also consistently offers two different responses to my questions. I asked her "So, did you work with Joycie [a previous Employment Specialst] before?" And she just smiled all crazy and shook her head. So I was like "Ok, so you didn't work with Joycie." No, she shook her head. "Ok, so who did you work with before me?" Then her look changed "Oh, I worked with Joycie before you."
2) There's my client who doesn't think I know how to fax anything, or use the computer at all, because I'm a lady.
3) There's another guy (not an active client) who has like 12 different resumes. He is also schizophrenic. His resumes detail the time he's spent in the FBI, CIA, KGB (as a double agent) and also on shows like "E.R." and "Dharma and Greg."
2) There's my client who doesn't think I know how to fax anything, or use the computer at all, because I'm a lady.
3) There's another guy (not an active client) who has like 12 different resumes. He is also schizophrenic. His resumes detail the time he's spent in the FBI, CIA, KGB (as a double agent) and also on shows like "E.R." and "Dharma and Greg."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The only person I can trust in Skid Row
Today one of my clients came in, after beating up two police officers, and told me that I was "the only person he could trust in Skid Row." I just want to leave it at that.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
There was a fight in the office today! In the computer lab!
One guy's elbow kept touching another guy's arm while he was using the mouse. Guy being touched got angry and was all "Don't touch my skin, brother! Don't fuckin' touch my skin!" Then the guy using the mouse TOUCHED THE GUY'S SKIN and all hell broke loose!
We have an old lady who works at the front desk and greets clients. She is from the Phillipines and has a very cute accent. Also she's like, 4'11". Anyway, she got really upset and put her hands on her face a-la Mccaulay Culkin was like "Noo! Jamal!* Ricardo!* stop it! Ricardo, stop touching Jamal. Jamal leave him alone! OH NO!" Then she ran away. It was adorable and funny, but I didn't want to laugh because she was clearly upset. Also two huge homeless guys were fighting in the computer lab.
Anyway, it was fine. They agreed to "stay out of each other's spaces" and it calmed down pretty quickly.
One of my clients told me today that I looked like Leonardo DiCaprio's sister.
?
I like my office. I like my co-workers, and the vast majority of my clients so far have been very respectful and easy to work with. I've become particularly interested in helping the vets that we get in. We get a lot of homeless veterans and it just makes me so sad and disgusted so I do whatever I can to get them into Comprehensive Work Therapy, which is offered through the VA. It's basically getting paid 8 bucks an hour for 20 hours a week to be trained in a job. These guys probably deserve better, but I want to do what I can.
We have actors who come in to volunteer sometimes. This guy comes in every week. I just looked him up on IMDB for the first time and OMG HE WAS IN NATIONAL TREASURE BOOK OF SECRETS. Also he looks a lot like Brad Pitt, and his name is Brad.
Also, and I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but I have never, in my life, been complemented on the way I look like I have in LA. It is CRAZY. If you want a self-confidence boost, come to LA. It's a trip!
One guy's elbow kept touching another guy's arm while he was using the mouse. Guy being touched got angry and was all "Don't touch my skin, brother! Don't fuckin' touch my skin!" Then the guy using the mouse TOUCHED THE GUY'S SKIN and all hell broke loose!
We have an old lady who works at the front desk and greets clients. She is from the Phillipines and has a very cute accent. Also she's like, 4'11". Anyway, she got really upset and put her hands on her face a-la Mccaulay Culkin was like "Noo! Jamal!* Ricardo!* stop it! Ricardo, stop touching Jamal. Jamal leave him alone! OH NO!" Then she ran away. It was adorable and funny, but I didn't want to laugh because she was clearly upset. Also two huge homeless guys were fighting in the computer lab.
Anyway, it was fine. They agreed to "stay out of each other's spaces" and it calmed down pretty quickly.
One of my clients told me today that I looked like Leonardo DiCaprio's sister.
?
I like my office. I like my co-workers, and the vast majority of my clients so far have been very respectful and easy to work with. I've become particularly interested in helping the vets that we get in. We get a lot of homeless veterans and it just makes me so sad and disgusted so I do whatever I can to get them into Comprehensive Work Therapy, which is offered through the VA. It's basically getting paid 8 bucks an hour for 20 hours a week to be trained in a job. These guys probably deserve better, but I want to do what I can.
We have actors who come in to volunteer sometimes. This guy comes in every week. I just looked him up on IMDB for the first time and OMG HE WAS IN NATIONAL TREASURE BOOK OF SECRETS. Also he looks a lot like Brad Pitt, and his name is Brad.
Also, and I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but I have never, in my life, been complemented on the way I look like I have in LA. It is CRAZY. If you want a self-confidence boost, come to LA. It's a trip!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Jazmin and I just went for a walk to the super touristy part of Hollywood, and it was considerably cleaner than when I went in 2000. My feet are the same size as Mel Gibson's! Also I saw the Kodak theater, where they do the Oscars, and it had a bunch of stores in it. Like, Louis Vuitton, Armani and such, but also the "Rocky Mountain Chocolate Shop" and like... a CVS or something. It was weird. Next time we go I'll bring my camera.
There are all these people down there dressed up like movie characters/stars. There were some Michael Jacksons, Marilyn Monroes, etc. and one of the Heath Ledger Jokers was getting his picture taken with a kid and he was begging the mom for a few dollars being like "you see, no one pays us to be down here!" and I wanted to be like "because it's not a job!" but I didn't say that.
It was fun! Jazmin is great. We get along very well. But all the roommates are lovely.
The guys in L.A. are way more aggressive about telling you how good they think you look, asking for your number, etc. They like honk the horn when driving, yell stuff out of cars/across the street, etc. When I'm walking to and from the Metro every day I get told that I am "beautiful" at least twice! A lot of guys like to tell you you're "beautiful" not hot or anything else but "beautiful." Also, when you are in stores, they just come up to you and say hello a lot. They don't do this stuff at home, it's kind of weird! Jazmin, who is from the area, went to U.C. Berkley and she says this stuff doesn't happen in NorCal, just SoCal. Weird, LA!
There are all these people down there dressed up like movie characters/stars. There were some Michael Jacksons, Marilyn Monroes, etc. and one of the Heath Ledger Jokers was getting his picture taken with a kid and he was begging the mom for a few dollars being like "you see, no one pays us to be down here!" and I wanted to be like "because it's not a job!" but I didn't say that.
It was fun! Jazmin is great. We get along very well. But all the roommates are lovely.
The guys in L.A. are way more aggressive about telling you how good they think you look, asking for your number, etc. They like honk the horn when driving, yell stuff out of cars/across the street, etc. When I'm walking to and from the Metro every day I get told that I am "beautiful" at least twice! A lot of guys like to tell you you're "beautiful" not hot or anything else but "beautiful." Also, when you are in stores, they just come up to you and say hello a lot. They don't do this stuff at home, it's kind of weird! Jazmin, who is from the area, went to U.C. Berkley and she says this stuff doesn't happen in NorCal, just SoCal. Weird, LA!
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